Tip#1 Frame the Question


So Tip #1 is that when you first start having these conversations,

You don’t use the word sex.

Use words like relationship, love and dating.

Because number 1 starting out just talking about sex, it brings up a lot of anxiety, and cause a lot of defense, so if you can say that you are going to start talking about like

“Hey what’s going on in your dating life?”

“What do you hear about relationships?”

“Are any of your friends in relationships?”

“Do you like anyone?”

That’s a better way to do that for many reasons.

One is that they know that you are pairing sexuality with relationships and love and tenderness and flirting, and that is something that we always want our kids to know.

The other thing is that even though they may have heard a lot of things about quick hook-up sort of sexuality, teens do have this dear hope in their heart that all this stuff is going to be about romance, love and attraction and friendship.

When you start talking about these things it does help you know where your kids are developmentally too!

What experiences they have had.

Because if you just start saying sex, you don’t know if your kid has ever bumped into anything, or is completely, blissfully ignorant of things, and that your starting at the beginning. Or that they may have tripped into a whole bunch of things that you need to know about so that you can start having this conversation.

So it is just a really great way to start a conversation.

Elizabeth Clark

1 Comment

  • Jacqueline Palmer June 26, 2017 at 1:50 am

    What great advice. Such a simple thing to switch the phrasing of a discussion and to what important effect!


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