5 Tips For Teens on How to Talk To Your Parents About Sex.

So…if you have some questions about crushes, romance and/or sex it is often a good idea to talk with your parents, because, truthfully, most teens who talk to their parents have better love and sex lives than kids who don’t.  I think this is because 1) we might get some wisdom and 2) when we talk to our parents about these things they trust us more, which for some magical reason makes us more trustworthy.  We take better care of our hearts and bodies.

Besides, the topic is probably going to come up at some point…won’t it be better if you bring it up first?

Starting these conversations can be tough…so here are five tips:

  1. Start any conversation about sex with the words relationships, romance, crushes, dating and love.  Those words make them smile.  The word sex does not.
  2. Because this topic scares them, always start out by recalling some great memories of things you’ve done together. Say thing like, “Remember when I was seven and we fed the ducklings at Auntie Jean’s house?”  Pull out pictures of nice moments you have had together.  Then say, “Hey…can we talk about something?”  Again, magically, they will listen with far less fear and far more confidence in you and themselves which is vital when talking about sexuality.
  3. I’m giving you a pass to alter the truth…a little. For the first few conversations about romantic and sexual relationships you can act as if some of your questions come from issues your friends are having.  These aren’t really lies…because your friends are having the same issues as you.  So, saying, “I have this friend who is having trouble with guys online,” or, “A guy I know asked me about making out,” or “My friend asked me for advice about her and her boyfriend,” Or “A girl told me about something she saw in a movie.”  This lessens some of the awkwardness.  Eventually, you will be more comfortable talking about yourself instead of your friends.
  4. Try having the first few conversations in situations where you are not facing each other…like when you are in the car together or hiking or taking the dog for a walk. It is oddly easier to face forward and talk about sex than staring into each other’s eyes.
  5. Start with the safer topics like dating then move to the harder topics like sex. See where their comfort level is.  Some parents will have no problem talking about sex.  Some will not be able to talk about anything sexual.  It is important to know their thoughts…their expectations…their comfort on the topic…their rules…because, let’ face it, they pay the phone bill and control the car keys, and, we really do want them to trust us and approve of our choices.  Besides all that, we want to have great love and sex lives…we need all the wisdom we can get.

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